Show #98- Marcus Buckingham, Part II- The Truth About You
In the second half of my conversation with Marcus Buckingham, we discuss why kids with learning difference don’t always fit into a standard model, but how it’s even more important that we find things that engage them and make them shine. Every child has something terrific and unique to contribute, and too often, the one-size fits all system ignores what individuals can add to the mix.
We discuss how self-esteem is great, but self-efficacy, performance and contribution are the real measures of success. In the end, success should be defined by finding out where you can make the greatest contribution, not always by external metrics of bank accounts. Many kids with learning difficulties have gone on to be wildly successful by almost every metric as adults, ranging from doctors, like Dr. Edward Hallowell, to actors like Henry Winkler and Tom Cruise, to business people, like Charles Schwab. Part of this success is not about an easy path, but finding where on the path they seemed to belong, and that’s what I think we wish for all of our children.
Marcus Buckingham is currently on a book tour across the Country- you can check this out at his website, www.marcusbuckingham.com. Marcus is also hosting an online seminar you can take as time suits as part of Oprah Winfrey’s Change Your Life program, which you shouldn’t miss. And I guarantee that Marcus’s new book, The Truth About You is well worth the purchase price.
For visitors to the website, I am running a special contest! Send an email to ldpodcast@gmail.com by November 1, 2008, with your feedback about the interview with Marcus Buckingham, and you can win an audio book version of Marcus’s first book, “First, Break all the Rules”, and a copy of The Truth About You. We’ll randomly select a winner from all entrants!
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Marcus Buckingham- The Truth About You
Show #97- Marcus Buckingham, The Truth About You, Part 1
I’ve been a fan of Marcus Buckingham’s work for years. Through his books, I’ve helped to identify what I do best, and it’s helped me focus on where I can be most helpful and productive. Marcus has a brand new Kit out called the Truth About You- which combines a book, DVD, small pad to track strengths and weaknesses and links to online material, that is truly excellent. I admit having some initial skepticism, as I am not a big “kit” person, but I was really impressed by everything, especially the DVD material. So much that I sat my kids down to watch as well, to reinforce that they need to start looking at what they do best, every day, for themselves.
The first half of my conversation with Marcus addresses what strengths are, and why this is so much more than just what your child is good at, or some mystic way to boost their self-esteem. A strengths-based approach is trying to help your child figure out where they are most effective- where they contribute the most, as well as what gives them the most joy and success. This is about actual performance and outcomes for kids, not just puffery. And importantly, Marcus also talks about his own experiences with his son, and why we have to help kids honor who they are and make the most of it every day.
In the second half, we talk more about how we need to help kids get really specific about their strengths and where they’re most effective. In the DIY culture, we’re all supposed to be the est at everything, but in reality, it means we may be a jack of all trades but a master at none. We ask kids to be perfect at all aspects of school, yet do very little to let them really investigate and hone their areas of interest and natural talent. This does not mean doing the easy thing- nothing’s harder than continuously honing and improving your skills- and this has the side effect of building resiliency along the way- a one-two punch for setting kids on a path of knowing who they are and realizing how very much they have to offer.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Show #57: Dr. Robert Brooks- Raising Resilient Children
I can’t think of a better way to help celebrate the 1st Anniversary of the LD Podcast, than my conversation with Dr. Robert Brooks. I met Dr. Brooks almost two years ago now, when he gave a lecture at the Centreville School. He was kind enough to read a book proposal I gave him, and indirectly, our conversations and his encouragement gave me the confidence to start the podcast. So a personal thank you to Dr. Brooks for helping me find my own voice.
Dr. Robert Brooks has lectured nationally and internationally to audiences of parents, educators, mental health professionals, and business people on topics pertaining to motivation, resilience, self-esteem, family relationships, the qualities of effective leaders and executives, and balancing our personal and professional lives.
He has also written extensively about these topics. He is the author of a book titled The Self-Esteem Teacher and co-author with Dr. Sam Goldstein of the following books: Raising Resilient Children; Nurturing Resilience in Our Children: Answers to the Most Important Parenting Questions; Seven Steps to Help Your Child Worry Less (with Kristy Hagar); Angry Children, Worried Parents: Seven Steps to Help Families Manage Anger (with Sharon Weiss); Seven Steps to Improve Your Child’s Social Skills (with Kristy Hagar); Understanding and Managing Children’s Classroom Behavior: Creating Sustainable, Resilient Classrooms, and The Power of Resilience: Achieving Balance, Confidence, and Personal Strength in Your Life (the latter focuses on resilience in adults). In addition, Dr. Brooks is co-author of a book with Drs. Mel Levine and Jack Shonkoff titled A Pediatric Approach to Learning Disorders and has written a sex education book for the young child called So That’s How I Was Born! Drs. Brooks and Goldstein co-edited a textbook titled Handbook of Resilience in Children; they also prepared a parenting video and curriculum about resilience and have produced a documentary “Tough Times, Resilient Kids” that was a finalist in the 23rd Telly Awards.
Dr. Brooks received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Clark University and did additional training at the University of Colorado Medical School. He is on the faculty of Harvard Medical School and has served as Director of the Department of Psychology at McLean Hospital, a private psychiatric hospital. His first position at McLean Hospital was as principal of the school in the locked door unit of the child and adolescent program. He has a part-time private practice in which he sees children, adolescents, adults, and families and has appeared regularly on television shows in the Boston area as well as on national cable television.
Dr. Brooks and Dr. Goldstein also have a new book coming out at the end of the summer, entitled The Self-Disciplined Child- something I know we all want for our kids and for ourselves.
In this first part of our two part conversation, we talk about what it takes to be a succcessful adult. Many kids with LD have a hard road to travel down, but their approach and attitude towards these difficulties can make all the difference in the world. We talk about LD being not an excuse, but an inderstanding of where a child is coming from; holding kids accountable for their actions, finding those Islands of Competence, and taking a strength-based approach to your child.
In part II, we’ll talk more about changing negative scripts, strategies to get desired results, Listening to your children to understand what’s really going on, and knowing how your children would describe you versus how you want them to describe you.
Dr. Brooks has an excellent website where you can find out more about his writings, subscribe to monthly articles, read past articles, and even find out if he is speaking in your area. You can purchase his books through this link to our LD Podcast Amazon Bookstore, where you’ll find links to books we’ve discussed.
We’d like to put together a show all about you, the listeners, so please call into the voicemail line at (206) 666-2343, or send your emails to ldpodcast@gmail.com. I’d love to hear from you!
Click Here to listen/download Dr. Robert Brooks- Raising Resilient Children Part I